Sexuality has become such a sensitive subject in this day and age that many, especially the old-fashioned, find it hard to articulate themselves. Unfortunately, the latter doesn’t just start and end with old-timers.
There are cases where women who were raised in traditional homes get confused when their supposed ‘traditional’ boyfriends start showing attraction towards transwomen. The latter is the reason for writing this piece. Continue reading to learn more about this rather sensitive subject.
My boyfriend is attracted to transwomen, is it normal?
Yes, it’s normal for straight men to find transwomen attractive. If anything, it’s happened more times than people care to admit, and guess what? It’s totally fine. The only difference between a biological woman and a transwoman is that the latter was born male. Other than that, everything else seems the same.
Most transwomen know how to take good care of themselves and have their regular dose of hormones, which in turn makes them look like biological women – if not better. In most cases, transwomen understand men on an intimate level than biological women.
The latter may be the reason why your boyfriend may be attracted to a transwoman – because of the simple fact that the transwoman understands him far better than you do. Note that if your boyfriend was gay, he’d be attracted to other men and not transwomen.
The harmful effects of shaming your boyfriend
Open-minded or not, finding out that your boyfriend is attracted to a transwoman can be shocking and frustrating. The latter may be the reason why the most common thing most women would do is shame him. Here are a handful of things that can happen when you choose to share your boyfriend for finding a transwoman (or transwomen) attractive:
- Anger – men have egos and once you shame him, he is most likely to get angry and lash out.
- Disconnection – calling your boyfriend out about something they’re not comfortable with is a bad thing. The first thing they’ll do is disconnect from a situation and the person who is causing it.
- Self-blaming – another way shaming can hurt your boyfriend is by making him blame himself. Remember, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to a transwoman, meaning there is nothing to be ashamed of or apologize for.
- Drug abuse – shaming your boyfriend might hurt him so much that he’s likely to find different outlets in the name of numbing the pain. He might seek refuse to alcohol, weed, or something worse.
That said, the best way for you to react is by giving him space. Leave the house for a few hours and only come back when your head is clear. If not, then you might say or do something that will affect you for a very long time.
Signs that your boyfriend is attracted to transwomen
In case you’re suspecting that your boyfriend is into transwomen, then I’d strongly suggest that you keep an eye out for the tale-tell signs. The first one should lead you right into his phone, that’s if you have the guts to check it. If you find any trans porn, then that should tell you that he’s into trans women.
If he’s too cagey about his phone, then you can borrow his laptop and view the history. I’m sure you’ll find that he made a few trips to Pornhub to quench his curiosity. If he’s too sleek, then he’ll wipe the browser history clean before letting you anywhere near a well-guarded secret. But fear not because there’re so many other ways you can get to the bottom of this.
You can always ask bait questions and gauge his response. If your boyfriend denies liking transwomen to the point of getting pissed off by the subject, then maybe, just maybe, he’s into transwomen. Just remember not to push it way too far because the last thing you want is to bring chaos to your relationship. Feel free to do your research on many other ways you can tell your boyfriend is into transwomen.
What to do when you find out your boyfriend is attracted to transwomen
Like I mentioned earlier, finding out that your boyfriend is an intro transwoman might be a blow, even for an open-minded woman such as yourself (assuming that you are one). Therefore, you must take some time to yourself and process this whole situation.
Once you’ve calmed down, you have to look for a way to talk to your boyfriend. Remember that such is a sensitive issue that needs to be addressed with both love and tenderness as well as zero judgment. But, if that doesn’t work for you, then it’s best to explain to him why the relationship has to come to an end.
Does being attracted to a transwoman make your boyfriend gay?
As I already mentioned above, transwomen are the same as biological women in more ways than one. The transwoman your boyfriend is into might poses a few attributes that you don’t and that alone might be the reason. So, it’s better to find the reason instead of lashing out at him.